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Twenty Years to Life
|image = File:Twenty Years to Life.jpg |season = 10 |number = 1 |overall = 223 |network = ABC-TV |airdate = March 27, 2018 |writer = Bruce Rasmussen |director = John Pasquin |previous = Into That Good Night, Part 2 |next = Dress to Impress }}Twenty Years to Life is the premiere and 1st episode of Season 10 of Roseanne, also the 223rd overall series episode. Summary Roseanne and Dan adjust to living under the same roof with Darlene and her two children, Harris and Mark, when Darlene loses her job. Meanwhile, Becky announces she is going to be a surrogate to make extra money; and Roseanne and Jackie are at odds with one another. Plot In-Depth Roseanne wakes up Dan who is wearing a sleep apnea machine. She tells him that she thought he was dead. They hear noise coming from upstairs. Dan says he can't get over the fact that Darlene and her kids are living with them now. He groans that he doesn't have any privacy and can't cook naked anymore. Roseanne says that he doesn't have to give up pleasuring her so he pulls her close and they have sex. Roseanne and Dan are at the breakfast table trading medicines when Darlene walks in. She asks if Roseanne has taken her blood sugar level and Roseanne says that it's as sweet as can be. Darlene hypothesizes that that's probably why she passed out at Walmart last week. Roseanne argues that it's because the prices are so low. Darlene brings up the feud between Roseanne and Aunt Jackie and how it needs to end. Mark, Darlene's kid, walks in dressed like a girl. Roseanne tells Dan to ignore it that he's exploring. Harris, another one of Darlene's kids, asks Darlene for money. Darlene, in turn, asks Roseanne who asks God. Darlene tells Harris that she needs her to babysit because she has a job interview. Roseanne offers to give her a ride now that she works for Uber, but Darlene says that Aunt Jackie offered to give her a ride. Roseanne is upset about this. Darlene tells her that Jackie promised to get along, but when they open the front door she's standing there wearing a "Nasty woman" t-shirt. Dan can't remember where he put his gun so he heads out to the garage. Roseanne goes with him and they look over her old manuscript. He says it would've been a best seller if she hadn't killed off the main character. Darlene arrives and Roseanne asks how the job interview went. Apparently not so good. Darlene tells her that she invited Jackie over for dinner. At dinner, D.J. shows up with his daughter and they all say grace with Roseanne intentionally poking fun at Jackie. Becky shows up and informs the family that she's going to get $50,000 dollars to be a surrogate. Roseanne and Dan become upset but Jackie offers her support. Dan leaves and heads out to the garage. Dan and Roseanne talk about Becky being a surrogate. They agree that they can't tell her what to do because she'll just do the opposite. Inside, Becky and Darlene are arguing. After Becky leaves, Roseanne tells Darlene that she knows that she lost her job. Darlene says that it's embarrassing and that she thought she'd be a huge success by now. Later, Roseanne and Jackie argue. Jackie says that Roseanne can't stand anyone else having their own opinions. That because of her she choked while voting and that's why that guy won. Roseanne tells her that she didn't mean that Jackie was stupid, almost apologizing. Jackie says she's sorry for all the fighting. Roseanne forgives her and Jackie commends her for doing that. Cast Starring *Roseanne Barr as Roseanne Conner *John Goodman as Dan Conner *Laurie Metcalf as Jackie Harris *Sara Gilbert as Darlene Conner *Lecy Goranson as Becky Conner *Michael Fishman as D.J. Conner *Emma Kenney as Harris Healy *Ames McNamara as Mark Healy II *Jayden Rey as Mary Conner Special Guest Star *Sarah Chalke as Andrea Trivia * This episode received 18.2 million viewers. ** Donald Trump called Roseanne Barr, congratulating her on the episode's rating success. * This episode features the first appearance of Andrea (played by Sarah Chalke), Mark Conner Healy (played by Ames McNamara), Harris Healy (played by Emma Kenney), and Mary Conner (played by Jayden Rey). Sarah Chalke had previously appeared in seasons 6 to 9 playing Becky Conner. * Lecy Goranson returns again for the second time, last appearing in Season 8. * Jerry Conner's absence is explained as being away on a boating trip. Photos of him can be seen in the lounge room who appears to be Roseanne Barr's real-life son, Buck Thomas. * Becky's husband, Mark Healy is said to have died some time ago. Quotes :lines; 20 years after Into that Good Night :Roseanne: Dan? up Dan! Dan! :Dan: up and groans; wearing a sleep apnea mask What? What happened? :Roseanne: I thought you were dead. :Dan: off sleep apnea mask I was sleeping! Why does everybody always think I'm dead? :Roseanne: You looked happy. I thought maybe you moved on.' 'and Dan hear loud stomping :Dan: 'Oh, they're up. I know it's only been a week, but I just can't get used to Darlene and her kids living in the house. ''sighs I got no privacy. I can't even make my Maxwell House naked, like God intended. :'''Roseanne: Well, just 'cause they're up doesn't mean we have to give up, you know, pleasuring me. :Dan: I don't know if we got time for the full symphony of love, but I'm sure we can knock off a few of the greatest hits. ---- :Mark: I like your nail polish, Grandpa. :Dan: his nails That's drywall, son. ---- :Becky: being a surrogate for Andrea I'm 43, and I told her I was 33 which, according to the lady at the Mac counter, is my skin age. her fingers :Darlene: Oh, well, you should've used your IQ, Becky. You could've said you were 23. snaps her fingers ---- :Jackie: Uh, apparently, all that weight you lost was the good Roseanne. ---- :Darlene: Becky having a baby No, I'm merely pointing out, at your age, your uterus should be designated a historic landmark. ---- :Roseanne: Darlene Don't be mean to your sister. She's an old woman trying to have a baby. ---- :Andrea: It is so great to finally meet you! :Becky: And I can see why you picked me. I mean, look at us. We could be the same person. :Andrea: Oh, my God. I mean, it is like looking in the mirror before I put my makeup on. Category:Season 10 Episodes Category:Premieres